She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
