I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I need moral support for this bender
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
