they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I understand Curling. That high.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
