doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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