Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
