eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
