just come out here and I will go home with you...
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
