I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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