You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
