he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
