I'm gonna have a badass scar
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
