I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
