David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
