Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
