this beer tastes like vomit already
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
