you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
