I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
