He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
