hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
