he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
