They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
