She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
