pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
