i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Help. Why am I so naked?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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