Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
