Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
