Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
