I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
