Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
