I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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