I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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