I just pynch a tree in the face
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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