im drinking this country out of the recession.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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