how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
