And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
her vagine was all disorganized.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Randomize
