Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
