im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize