Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
