ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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