I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
