did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
