so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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