just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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