There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Randomize
