How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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