If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
