Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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