He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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