I molested 6 butterflies tonight
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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