My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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