If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
